11th August 2024
Hi everyone!
I’ve been meaning to give you all an update on my activities, but each time I tried, I was either overwhelmed with stuff to discuss, or my SSH shell was sluggish. It has been significantly different during the last six months. I’ve experienced both extreme sadness and happiness simultaneously. It was excellent that I tried so many different things. I’ve had a lot of disappointments, particularly in respect to my professional route. I did, however, accept them and am making an effort to go on despite them. (This paragraph was spellchecked and improved by an AI - won’t do it again, just trying out some stuff sorry >-< )
Remember the internship I was so excited about in my last update? It did not go well. I got paid for the first two months, but did not get paid for the remaining three. I did finish all my work at the company, and even wrote a research paper on my implementation but the management was not excited about my work at all and I was sidelined as soon as they had something big coming up. Not a lot of people totally understand digital design, which is why I don’t get a lot of attention.
For the summer I needed to do another internship, a place which would actually acknowledge my work. Somehow, I got to work with a company which had only one FPGA board in their lineup - They weren’t really excited about maintaining it but they were okay to pay someone to relocate and work on it for two months (this was the fun part)!
I got to move to a different city for the internship! The city was alright, the company was in the suburbs so the scenery and the cleanliness wasn’t up to the mark - but it was livable. I had a small room which I shared with a friend. The routine was simple, I got up to grab breakfast which was edible at best. Next, after getting ready I stormed to the office.
The route to office was very straight forward, but due to the roads being crooked and very narrow, it took 20 minutes to reach via an “electric carriage”. These carriages were very bare-bones, drawn by a battery and an electric motor with practically no suspension and shock-absorbers, thus making us feel every bump in the road. On my way to work, I used to notice dozens of people, some living very mediocre lives while some living to dream. The area around my office brought me new perspective of my hometown. My life would be so different if even one thing changes in it. I would probably have never discovered tilde!
I visited a lot of monuments in the new city, and a lot fancy places as well - as far as my social anxiety allow me to travel. I am a very extroverted gal but I am limited when traveling alone. I wish I could share some pictures here, agh why do I need to protect my identity! Feel free to reach out for a pic :D would love to make a friend to share them!
The people I met over at the company were really good. They were homely, and very sweet. They did care for me, asking about my stay every day or two. As my stay came to an end, I felt this very numb feeling inside me, kind of a sad feeling. I was not ready to face the problems at my home. At home, I feel numb and I stop caring about everything I want to do and everything I love. I put myself into a cocoon, with the shell made out of thought-numbing activities like scrolling social media, watching heartfelt TV shows, playing games. Hiding from reality that is the tons of activities I need to tend to, and the emails I have to write, and the things I need to do so that I stay on my career’s course. Why does it feel so hard to do these activities?? Why have I built a cocoon? I have no idea.
I tried my best to enjoy the plane ride back home. I got expensive coffee to make myself feel happy, played music the whole ride and even watched Easy A, because heartfelt movies make me feel good. However, as I got into the taxi back to my home I felt somber and numb.
I talk a lot about the last two months because they are still fresh in my mind. I visited an amusement park in June, which was really fun. I think it was one of the high points of my year. Feeling all those G-Forces, really puts life in perspective. That activity might probably be responsible to the shift in mentality which got me the new internship. I was feeling very down before visiting that park.
I don’t remember much about May. Twas exams month, and I had grinded down to submit the research paper before 10th May, which was really stressful and had me working overtime. I don’t remember much about April, nothing really. I was probably working on something unimportant. Not much about March, it was mid-term exam month. In february, I was stressing on about the old internship’s work, which got chill over the work as the management got uninterested in my work.
That’s pretty much my six months. I hope to regularly update this page, now that I have moved everything to my local computer via git. It should be easier than writing with vim in a laggy SSH terminal - not tilde’s fault, I live far away from it.
I hope to gain more skills in the coming months, and the next three months are going to dictate the rest of my 2-3 years, since it will be time to score a job or score an admit in a good college for higher studies. Not sure which I want to take, but I was very inclined to take the higher studies route in the past years - I really want to escape my country. I’ll be detailing about all of this in my coming posts. Let me find an image to attach with this post.
PS: I still haven’t heard from any of the visitors, and I refuse to believe that I am talking to a void. I’ll also be making a post about this month’s most listened songs. Stay tuned!
Toodles :3
